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PHOENIXIA shares her experiences and strong feelings

On The Way To Yourself

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Podcast text


Dear friends and co-creator of your path. 

Today I want to share with you the path that led me to experience joy.

 Let me introduce myself, Nicole Bieder,

Like many of you, I approached the path to awakening under the influence of a very dark experience,

Or everything seems to slip away from you,

Your whole universe is shattered. On a personal, professional, relational level and finally on your health,

 Everything collapses and you with it !!! For my part, I have wandered during 3 years at the bottom of a hole bottomless.

I really almost died

But as you can hear, Death did not accept me,

 Because I ended up letting go.

I gave up on living longer in these conditions.

 I got rid of a lot of tangible and intangible things. 

I then walked on the path of awakening to one's self, to the inner world.

 I discovered that suffering leads to consciousness.

 It took me several years,

 Lots of pleasant and sometimes almost unbearable experiences.

 On this path towards me, I set out to follow the advice I had gleaned here and there.

I wrote down in a notebook reserved for this purpose, Every day the pleasant things that had happened to me the events that I appreciated:

 nature's beauty,

 the smiles of the people crossed,

a pleasant word,

 having a roof,

 all that warmed my heart,

 I began to feel a benefit in the peace that I felt more and more often.

 Then I chose a medium sized jar,

 I prepared little rectangular papers on which I wrote the gratitude I felt. And I folded them carefully and added them every day in the Jar;

 I finally felt gratitude in many areas.

 I wrote down daily the gratitude I felt for the big and small things I experienced or felt each day,

 It was like sports training. The more gratitude I felt, the more reason I saw to feel it.

 It's not positive thinking, it's just that I was turning my attention to:

Everything that makes me happy

 All that feeds me

 Anything that pleases me. 

The smell of an undergrowth fills me with a magnificent sensory emotion.

 The play of the sun through the leaves of the trees,

 A dog running with ears in the wind like in a comic book makes me laugh.

The gratitude I felt was growing dynamically, exponentially,

 Gratitude for mine, for my friends, for what exists, for what remains, gratitude, for the chance to live here and now. . ..

Sometimes . . .

 I threw the many loose papers on the table that I read at random.

 It became like a stream which becomes a river and then a river of gratitude.

Until this day !

December 8th exactly,

 That day I experienced joy,

10 full days of joy.

 This is our subject: JOY.

 It took me a while to realize it. When I really understood that I was experiencing joy. I was very afraid that this would not last.

 So I savored every day, hour, minute, second.

In joy, everything seems possible. All creation starts with a small step and I see how to do it.

 Everything seems to be lit with an unequaled and unknown luminosity until this day. Do the English call bliss, the Hindus, nirvana? 

I am on cloud nine, everything seems, NOT everything is accessible !!!

 I bathe in joy,

There is no possible confusion, everything is more beautiful!

This state must be the culmination of the quest.

I know, Awakening,

 it's when we are One,

 when we are all,

 when the nothing is the whole.

 But for now----

 Joy for me is the expression of self-expansion.

I absolutely wanted to share this joy and its expression,

 This wonderful fullness !!!

 This intoxication, This feeling of being confronted with the infinite field of possibilities.

Without a doubt,

 Overwhelmed by joy, had I forgotten to fill my precious jar with my little papers filled with gratitude, because the joy has faded.

I came back in peace. 

I then realized that I was the Alchemist of my own life.

Thanks to this jar,

 I accumulate all the reasons I have to be happy.

 Gratitude is really the answer to raising your vibrational level.

So the joy,

 What a wonderful experience it is to be in joy.

 If I have to stop on my way to awakening,

 Let it be in this perfection that is the state of inner joy.

 Dear friends and co-creators of your journey,

Thank you for your full presence

 And I tell you see you soon for a new experience.

 Peace, love, light and joy to you all.